Unspirational Quotes

Your best work is always behind you. You just missed it. If at first you don’t succeed, realize you were Continue reading →

Least Respected Street Names

Floppy A Chunk Light Poindextrous Tranz Phat Short Order Half Smoke Third Eye Linear B 4 Naught Brad — J.D. Continue reading →

Places William H. Taft Has Been Stuck In Aside From the Bathtub

In traffic On a conference call Between a rock and a hard place At a party he has only been Continue reading →

Press 1

Press 1 for information about the new park adjacent to our corporate headquarters campus. Press 2 if you’ve ever fallen Continue reading →

7 Signs You Are Mentally Smart

Smart. It’s probably a word you’ve heard before. What is it that makes someone mentally smart? Is it having a Continue reading →

Ways to Improve Your Numbers as a White Chalk Salesman

1. Kill People — Described by many as a solid dude, Marcus Haugen is a Chicago based improviser/writer who can Continue reading →

Real Texts I’ve Sent Recently, Presented Without Context

1. I mean, I’m not one to be easily flustered by dicks… 2. Will Odin and Artemis accept my offering Continue reading →

Top Ten Best New Television Shows of Fall 2013

It’s finally getting chilly in Chicago, and you know what that means…TV IS BACK, BABY!!!!!!! To celebrate the return of Continue reading →