Dear St. Croix County Fair

It is with profound regret that I must inform you of my inability to attend this year’s extravaganza. Urgent family Continue reading →

Congress Lightens Up

Weary of its low approval ratings, Congress has decided to take the offensive. All existing special months have been replaced Continue reading →

Little Conversations

“I don’t have as much money as I would like,” exclaimed Earl. “Are your expectations too lofty?” asked Gus. “Or Continue reading →

Press 1

Press 1 for information about the new park adjacent to our corporate headquarters campus. Press 2 if you’ve ever fallen Continue reading →

New Year’s Resolutions for My Wife

Don’t dance unless you have a partner. Put your toothbrush in the holder that we bought at T.J. Maxx, not Continue reading →

Edgy Bereavement Cards

Grandpa certainly was a character, wasn’t he? I’m sure you will miss him. But if you’re honest with yourself, Isn’t Continue reading →

Post-Game Remarks

  “I can’t tell you how proud I am of this team. And neither can my assistant coaches. We’re speechless. Continue reading →

Never Date a Younger Woman

Don’t do it, fellas. Resist the temptation. A younger woman is a temporary oasis, nothing more. In the long run, Continue reading →