Fear Territory: A Long Term Case of Bike Avoidance

I was ten years old when I fell off my bike and didn’t get back on. It was a summer Continue reading →

Eating Doritos in Bed

Crunch. Crunch. Crunch. I slowly surface from an incredible dream involving Channing Tatum giving me a full body massage. The Continue reading →

Just Because You Had a Bad Accident Doesn’t Mean Your Bachelorette Party Is Ruined

So you can’t leave the hospital, big deal. That just means the bachelorette party is coming to you, Denise! That’s Continue reading →

A Love Poem

If you called me up And said that you were being kidnapped By a bunch of Eastern European Sex traffickers, Continue reading →

Do You Believe in Voodoo?

I took a walk the other night. The goal was to walk to a convenience store, located just down the Continue reading →

Sister Sarah Speaks and Sings

SISTER SARAH, a new age gypsy-priestess, is alone onstage with a crystal bowl, her instrument. She addresses the audience–friends and Continue reading →

High Notes

Debussy never wrote a note that wasn’t perfect. Picasso always drew a perfect line, picked a perfect color. I screwed Continue reading →

Dear Beer

Hi, Okay. Yeah, this is kinda weird… I take it from you not accepting my “friend request” that you are Continue reading →