There was a time in my life where the only job I could get was working in a sandwich shop. Once you join the sandwich making industry, it is difficult to leave. I am happy to say that I have since bettered myself by getting work as an office temp, but I will carry the memories of slinging meats and bread with me forever.

The Aggressive Line-Stander: Usually a middle aged business man who breathes through his nose with abandon. He will confidently invade your space, moving forward even when the line does not. His eyes are glued to the menu, until you place your order, at which time he will eye you from head to toe.

Suburban Mother and Daughter Sporting Identical Pixie Cuts: Their hair is long in the front and spiky in the back. Bleach-blond bangs frame their bronzer encrusted faces. When they order an Italian sandwich they pronounce it “eye-talian.” They want their order done in time to catch the trolley to Navy Pier.

Cab Driver: Throws coffee at cashiers when order is wrong. Carries a decrepit parrot on one shoulder. Might be ordering. Might be speaking to Djibouti on a Blue Tooth.

The High School Student: These customers travel in packs. They will sometimes speak in an affected British accent. Other times they will wear stockings on their arms. Often, they are making out with one of their kind. Watch out. Sneaky. Will steal chips.

The Regular: He or she will reiterate their living proximity to the store as being “Just around the corner.” Knows the name of one employee and always asks if they are there. They will pretend to look at the menu, then sigh, and order the same thing they always do.

Shannon Noll lives in Chicago doing comedy and temp work.  She has a cat named Ripley, thusly named for killing flies as though they were aliens.

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