Dear Bill Gates,
I would like to have a grant for the amount of $86,000 to buy up Detroit and turn it into a giant KISS snowglobe. This grant will be put to good use because it will turn Detroit into a giant KISS snowglobe which is what everyone wants. If you do not accept this offer then consider us at war. If you are against us you are not on our side (or Detroit’s). However if you do accept my offer then, heck, I will even let you keep your name on the deed. Detroit can still be yours cause I don’t even want it. I just mostly want you to buy it and turn it into a giant KISS snowglobe so that I can move there with my family and have a job in the snowfactory (a manager at least please? I don’t have any job right now and my wife is going to leave me if I do not provide money for her love.) OK thanks so much for your time and I hope you approve this grant proposal! If you do not then this means war and I will kill your family one by one on New Years Eve.
Cheers (was a great show!)
Griffin Wenzler is from Nashville, TN. He likes to play the drums and read. He performs solo sketch and with the improv team Bully.