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Paul Thompson, the 34-year-old firefighter who rescued a young boy who had fallen onto the subway tracks, says he just “blacked out”.  I recently had an opportunity to interview him on his way to work.  Here is his side of the transcript:

THOMPSON —

I didn’t particularly give a crap about the kid.  I don’t really like ’em in general, you know?  And this one had kind of a messy face, too.
It’s just like I told my girlfriend, what do you want a kid for?  Get rid of it.

I’m kidding, but you know what I mean, huh?  You got a kid?  No.  Didn’t think so.  Then you know what I mean.

She’s a softy though.  Now I got two.  And neither of ’em are looking like they’re ever gonna be able to catch a baseball.

Tommy, my oldest, is going into the second grade and still scared of the ball.  Likes tofu.  The wife coddled him.  Yeah, we’re married now.

I dunno what happened that day.  I was waiting for the damn train, watching this beggar approach.  Just waiting for him to ask me for something.  You know, I can’t take his kind.  Do I have a dollar to give you?  No, buddy, I don’t.  I might buy a pack of gum with that, or throw it in the trash, okay?  Cuz that’s my right.  

Get lost.  Play a song or something, maybe.  Do a little dance.  Ah nevermind, forget it.  Plus, it’s summertime.  Real tough sleeping outside in the summer.  Be nice not to work.  

Then I hear this little pansy yell and see it’s the kid’s dad standing by the edge of the track, flapping his arms around like a bird.  The kid is down on the track picking up his ice cream cone and not knowing a thing.  

I can’t remember after that.  I guess I hugged that kid down as the train passed over us.  That’s what they told me, anyway.Yeah, I got a bunch of appreciation for that.

Real nice.  What’d be nice is a new car.

A Toyota?  Shut up.


Firefighting?  Yeah, it’s pretty heroic, I guess.  I mean, sure, we save people’s lives everyday.  Animals, too.  But mostly it’s an idiot put something in his toaster.  There’s a lot of people who shouldn’t be allowed to have matches.

Oh, 9/11?  Yeah I was there.  A lot of people died there.  No reason to it.  No I don’t remember much of that.  I saw it on TV but don’t remember too much else.  Must’ve blacked that one out too.

Damn, you see that ass?!  Hey hon’ you ever seen a real fire hose?!  Ahh…

Wooeee – now that’s dangerous!  Gonna get somebody hurt – you know what I mean?  Ah, forget it, buddy.  No use trying with you.

Mr. Thompson then snagged a ball bouncing by and tossed it back to the child chasing after it.  He told him to keep it in his mitt and boarded his train.

Brian Byrne is a comedian living in Chicago.  He does improv and writes stuff, too.  He’s on twitter @abrianbyrne.

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