Sinking deeper into the quicksand, Eloise muttered the word “fuck” 8 times. She was definitely going to die. No question about it. “Fuck,” she added to make it 9.

Eloise thought about how strange it felt to be suspended in quicksand, how oddly nice the grains felt between her toes, how she really wished she’d told Charles she loved him while she had the chance, how she probably should have heeded the “danger: quicksand” sign instead of taking a funny picture with it and posting it on social media.

She muttered a 10th “fuck” and sank deeper.

The quicksand was hitting just below her natural waist, and she felt really attractive.

If only Charles were there, he could see her looking beautiful, she could tell him she loves him, and maybe he could prevent her from dying in this quicksand.

Eloise sighed. She wished she could call for help, but her phone’s battery had drained entirely because it’s hard to get a signal in places where quicksand exists and she’d kept using it even though the guides had cautioned everyone to only use their phones in emergencies. Like if you end up in quicksand.

Eloise realized she would never see her belly button again and she started to cry.

She’d always hated her belly button, a larger than normal innie that was too deep and too wide, but now she missed it.

“I should have appreciated my belly button,” Eloise said out loud, “And I should have told Charles I love him.” She punctuated this with a “fuck” and that was 11.

The quicksand had reached her chest and her breasts were resting on it in a really funny way. She wished she could take a picture, but her phone was dead. And then they were hidden.



That monologue from Our Town popped into Eloise’s head. The “Goodbye, world” one. The one that girl has. Emily? Jane? Eloise couldn’t remember. She couldn’t remember the character or the words or anything. She was quickly driven mad.

As she shouted her 13th and final “fuck,” Eloise’s head sank beneath the quicksand.

And she died.

Julia Weiss is a writer, improviser, and actress. Julia has a big heart and a tiny bladder. Julia likes baths and wine. @weiss_tea.

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