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First allow me to say I am NOT interested in HUMAN SEX. OK?

Hi,

My name is Dennis and I am a caring HUMAN being and Christian (redundant right?). I care a whole ton about the FAMILY UNIT. OK? You are a Christian HUMAN husband whose wife needs to sing a different tune? That’s OK. You feel like you are a HUMAN wife who has no direction? Perfect. What can I offer you? Spanking.

I have made a living for the past three years in Burbana, IL as a live-in spanker. Imagine this, you are a traveling CHRISTIAN HUMAN husband and your wife misbehaves. Maybe she forgets to call you one night? Maybe she drops a tupperware full of your favorite blueberries? Perhaps maybe she smiles at your New Yorker-subscribing neighbor? The technology doesn’t exist for an electronic spanking machine yet (trust me I have looked) so what do you do? Simply text or page me 😉 and I will get right on it. If you like for an extra charge we can set up a Skype so that you can watch me discipline 😉 your wife! OK? I am quite very strong and have unflinching CHRISTIAN morals!

We can hash out the details later. I am available from July of this year until Christ comes back 😉

Please! If you own a CANINE or your neighbors do within 100ft then PLEASE no need to contact me as I CANNOT do the job.

Love and Christ’s Passion,

Dennis

Griffin Wenzler is from Nashville, TN. He likes to play the drums and read. He performs solo sketch and with the improv team Bully.

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