1 cup feelings
1 quart whiskey
1 tablespoon of exhaustion
A bottle rocket
A bathroom
A match
On the 4th of July, mix whiskey with feelings and let simmer for 4 hours. Bring dish into bathroom along with bottle rocket and match, and add exhaustion. At this point the ingredients should have congealed into a bad idea.
Light bottle rocket fuse. Panic for 5-10 seconds.
Try to pee out the lit fuse of bottle rocket. Realize too late this is impossible. Prepare apology to brother-in-law, and enjoy!
—
Andy Junk is older than his picture would lead you to believe.
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