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**~VELCOMEN!***~

WELCOME HOME!

Or that’s what we WOULD say if you were our new dwelling mate!

WE ARE OFFERING A VERY STEALTH SNAKE HOLE AT THE VERY BOTTOM TIP OF BROOKLYN! YES! A SNAKE HOLE!

UNBELIEVABLY COZY, DARK, AND DANK! PERFECT FOR SLEEPERS AND CREATURES OF THE UNDERWORLD!

FEATURES INCLUDE:
BASEMENT/GARDEN UNIT
CENTRAL COOLING FOR OPTIMUM CHILL
BLACKLIGHTBLACKLIGHTBLACKLIGHTBLACKLIGHT!
CREATURE FRIENDLY!
A THIN LAYER OF SOOT ON OUR CINDER BLOCK FLOORS
OOZY PIPES AND LEAKY FAUCETS, PERFECT FOR A MIDNIGHT SNACK!

WE CALL OURSELVES JEREMY, KING OF THE MOLE PEOPLE. WE CAN BE REACHED AT 212-772-9847. CALL US OR STOP BY AND KNOCK THREE TIMES FOR ENTRY. ONLY AFTER 1AM (FOR WE SLUMBER WHILE MORTALS WALK)

—-

A.J. Scott is a contributing editor. She is also a Cleveland native and a Chicagoan at heart. A.J. is currently exploring New York City and trying not to get lost every time she steps onto the subway. She enjoys making her cats dance and eating anything made out of chocolate. Tweet her @abbienamestnik.

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